Shiney Metal

I smile at the shiny metal in my hand. Then my eyes close in pleasure as I slide my savior across my arm. A tear falls down my cheek; hating my addictive remedy. Glossy red begins to decorate my arm.
Ah, the euphoric feeling I get when my pain seeps from my body. The release is such a morbid relief, but worth the troubles. I frown at the purple and red rigged lines that take up every spot on my skin. Luckily, it’s wintertime; so long sleeves won’t be a question. I’ll have to hide my scars from everyone. No one would understand. Everything I deal with is just so overbearing. So overbearing that this self-inflicting art is my only key to freedom. When I do this...then I am able to manage, because I can’t take it all at once.

• Why must my life be so messed up like this?
• Why can’t I just be happy like everyone else?

Maybe if I cut the ugliness away things will get better. It feels so good to channel one pain into a more tolerable one. Doing this makes me feel like I can look at other problems with a straighter backbone. No more nerve wrecking tears, just slices. I've met Pain and I don't know how to address him. So I run to the medicine cabinet to gain some reflecting advice.
As I rinse the scarlet mutilation from my arm, I cry for two reasons. I cry for the pitiful person I come to as I do this misunderstood deed, and I cry in inexplicable joy. I clean my only friend, feeling its cool and smoothness. Then I place it back in its space, smiling. This is the only good feeling I get.


For: anyone who cuts his or her selves, or does any other form of self-mutilation.
Memo: Please talk to someone, or get help before it gets worse or it’s too late. There are other forms to coping with pain.
734-662-2222 This is the Crisis Line to the Ozone House in Ann Arbor, Michigan. They're a great place to go to about your personal problems. That's a personal recommendation.