The explanation for me walking was simple really. Life. Ah yes, that manifestation of going through existence with many events. Some may wonder how could I easily just walk away from my “life”. And the answer to that is simple as well. It wasn’t my life. That explanation may not be comprehensible to most, nor may it be a “good enough” reason to others. Nonetheless, that was motive to my urge to leave my dorm room and head down Michigan Ave and to never look back. I was living the life that was considered the best for me, or in other words living the life to make my family proud. I was living a life in advisement of the ones I loved. I was living the life that continued to be neglected from what I truly wanted, because my best companion tended to snipe my dreams from me and transcend at them. And if I tried speak on what I wanted my life to be, I was wrong, or I just cared too much on what made everyone else happy. I wasn’t living my life and I remained stuck between a rock and a hard place. Happiness would not be attained in any corner that I wished to turn. So why not walk? I was hoping to walk away from Life. I was planning to live, but not have a life. I would walk and proceed to walk. Never stopping. For if I even took a pause in my stride the atmosphere of Life would spring and suffocate me.
The day I decided to walk was sunny, but that wasn’t imperative. All of what I seen was on a gray-scale. Just because the Sun is shining doesn’t mean it actually is, and just because it’s cloudy and raining doesn’t mean it’s actually pouring. I had laid in bed all day, simply not wanting to be. I heard my roommate walk in and out of the room throughout the day. Rays beamed through the slits of my blinds. My phone went off with notifications of people trying to reach me. I was submissive to all of this. I faded in and out of sleep. I remember thinking that I wanted my own room. I didn’t want my roommate to see me like this, but I wasn’t getting up to please her sight. I didn’t want to be around anyone, nor did I want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to lay in covers until the horsemen took me. It was 4:03 pm and I hadn’t eaten yet, nor did I had a pinch of desire to put food into my mouth. I knew I should’ve gotten up and at least used the bathroom, but I had not the need to or the will to do just that. What did get me up, was my conclusion to leave this forsaken place.
With soulless eyes I brushed my hair. I threw my sour clothes in the dirty clothes hamper. I took a shower and brushed my teeth. I washed a load of clothes. I packed a bag. Then I left. It was 6:26 pm.
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